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Lois Wyse, author and advertising executive (via nicothedoctor)
wow, this is disturbingly true for something so simple.
(via sexxxisbeautiful)
I miss my big hair. I want big hair BAD. BUT I love my short cut as well. The lovely thing about having short hair is that it will grow back too. I guess I’m being purposefully rebellious right now though. The only reason I will not grow my hair out right now is because EVERY SINGLE DAY, someone tells me that I would look better with longer hair. Or that they think I should grow my hair out. My parents being the main ones. But I hear it from friends. I hear it from guys. I get stared at in public places. When people see me they don’t know how to react to a fine ass bald-headed chic walking around. I love challenging what you think is beautiful. Because I am beautiful, and they just don’t know how to handle it. I could get as close to the scalp as I want to without shaving it, and I would still be bad. Shit the closer I get it cut, the less I have to cut it *shrug* Here’s what I think. When people stop telling me that I would look better with long hair, than MAYBE I’ll grow it out. Once you start to accept it, please believe I’m going to switch it up. It’s sad that I have to do people like that smh. Say what you want but I’m not going anywhere. My little brother cuts my hair for me when I go home. Every time he does, my parents get irritated with HIM. LOL. My dad asked me, “when are you going to grow your hair out, you really should.” I told him, “Never. I’m probably going to get married with my hair like this.” And everybody knows I’m not getting married anytime soon. I don’t even have a man. He said “Well how is your guy going to feel about you being bald headed?” I replied, “If he is with me, he’s going to enjoy my company regardless of what my hair looks like.” In straight denial fashion he goes, “No he won’t”. My mother laughs. I walk away. My dad hates natural hair. He always has. I love my parents, but when it comes to me and what I do, there opinions are completely invalid because they are truly stuck in their socialized ways. That’s ok. They were born in the early 60’s. Different time. So in order for me to not be disrespectful, I just don’t involve myself in conversations about politics, race, gender, culture, Afrocentric ideals, anything with my parents, and close friends who I know are the complete opposite of what I feel like I live my life to. I have learned to hold my tongue. That’s fine with me. For now. It hurts though. Friends and family. Even though they’re not outright calling me ugly, saying that I would look better if I had longer, STRAIGHTER hair is offensive. Simply because I do not have long straight hair. And I never will again. Yeaaa the man I marry, when I meet him, if I haven’t already, is probably going to see a bald-head chic walking down the aisle on our wedding day. Because CLEARLY me being bald ruffles up so many feathers I gotta make sure he’s down for me. *sigh* Going to work now…
I know how you feel. I tend to remain stagnet in the things I do or how I look because I deplore the fact that other people always feel the need to tell me how if I change my appearance/lose weight/wear my hear a certain way/dress certain I’ll be soooo much prettier or a “better girl.” Its so demoralizing. and irritating. I’ve been me for 21 years, I know how to manage myself.
I don’t know if its being stubborn or other people just need to shut the fuck up - but if I want to do something different with my life, thats my business and its my choice. If I want to make the decision to go to the gym or try out some weird/new/all natural foods, then thats my decisions for me to make. Having other people tell me how the person I am right now is so worthless compared to who I have the potential to be just puts on this unnecessary pressure and insecurity that wasn’t previously there.
Its like I mention that I might dye my hair and the response is “you know what I always found sexy on a woman…” umm, wait - when did I say I was doing this to make myself “sexier” for you? I don’t know what it is where people legitimately EXPECT others (women?) to live their life seeking approval & acceptance, but all that does is cause a person to manifest a negative relationship with who they currently are to become who you want them to be. If that’s the case, i’ll stay the way I am.
/rant
The following day, I attended a workshop about preventing gender violence, facilitated by Katz. There, he posed a question to all of the men in the room: “Men, what things do you do to protect yourself from being raped or sexually assaulted?”
Not one man, including myself, could quickly answer the question. Finally, one man raised his hand and said, “Nothing.” Then Katz asked the women, “What things do you do to protect yourself from being raped or sexually assaulted?” Nearly all of the women in the room raised their hand. One by one, each woman testified:
“I don’t make eye contact with men when I walk down the street,” said one.
“I don’t put my drink down at parties,” said another.
“I use the buddy system when I go to parties.”
“I cross the street when I see a group of guys walking in my direction.”
“I use my keys as a potential weapon.”
The women went on for several minutes, until their side of the blackboard was completely filled with responses. The men’s side of the blackboard was blank. I was stunned. I had never heard a group of women say these things before. I thought about all of the women in my life — including my mother, sister and girlfriend — and realized that I had a lot to learn about gender.
Why are racist billboards allowed to exist?
Feministing says it best:
“
The racist trope regarding abortion rates in African American communities, promoted primarily through billboard campaigns, has expanded to include Latinas.
According to the Daily Caller, the billboard pictured is set to show up in Los Angeles next week, connected to a group called Latino Principles for a Conservative Principles. Among the board members of the group is Luis Fortuno, the Governor of Puerto Rico.
The message is very similar to the billboard that we fought against in Manhattan earlier this year, with a few exceptions. This billboard is bilingual, which means that in the Spanish version of the statement the word madre (mother) appears, and is emphasized. In the English version that attacked African-American women, the word mother, even the word woman, was entirely absent. It was a shocking contrast to the fact that the ads themselves were actually targeting Black women as the ones putting Black children in danger, even though they never actually mentioned them.
I’m disgusted, but not particularly surprised. Like Steph, as a Latina, I’m angry that my community is being targeted. But I’m not more angry than I was when I saw the first billboards attacking African-American women. I already felt attacked by those original billboards, because these tactics aren’t actually about the communities they target.
They are instead about attacking abortion, trying to race bait, divide the pro-choice community along racial lines. They implicitly make women of color the culprit, the ones responsible for this myth of genocide in our communities. Whether it’s African-American women, or Latinas, or Indigenous women–they are simply using women of color to forward their anti-choice agenda.
Regardless of whether they are attacking your community, they are attacking all of us and we need to fight back.
I’ll keep an eye out for any action items targeting these billboards and post them.”
Attitudes toward working women in the 1950s
