new wave feminism

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A quasi-academic look at Feminism, politics & race relations through the lens of a 20-something year old Nigerian American who was born & raised up in the (still) segregated south but has relocated to the "liberal" yet historic & traditional north.
This blog is my space for an interdisciplinary examination of race, gender, class, sexuality - all things intersectional & multi-dimensional.
Feminism the way I see it...

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Posts tagged "consent"

So lately I’ve discovered that not only does the school I teach at have zero systems in place to teach their middle school students about health & sexual education - but that these students are becoming hypersexualized without a full context of what’s going on. I hear boys ask girls invasive/inappropriate questions during class and am at a loss. How do you teach young girls that their bodies belong to them and others are not entitled to touch and rate as they wish? How do you teach young boys that your manhood isn’t defined by how many girls you violate and disrespect?

This is the age where a lot of messages are internalized without fully understanding their impact and it’s even worse when adults just turn a blind eye and ignore these things because “welp, it isn’t my problem, so and so’s department needs to figure it out.”

I would love any resources people may know of, used, or seen in passing about middle school sexual education - but more importantly consent education. I hear a lot about us needing to teach consent - but has anyone actually taken the next step and developed lessons/programming on these topics? 

We already know that poor communities of color lack resources that would otherwise provide such education - so we need to do something and spread this information around! 

Thanks in advance!

I am Nigerian as well, very much inspired by your blog! How can a girl feel empowered is she is too busy trying to have the ‘perfect’ or ‘normal’ body?! I am a firm believer in loving your own body!! I still have my own insecurities but I am working on them and learning to love myself more each day ! I hope this inspires others to do the same!!

Submitted by: consentforselflove.tumblr

SAFER, a great non-profit based out of NYC, is nearing the end of their online fundraising campaign with about $1,500 shy of reaching their goal. Check out the campaign, visit their website, and spread the word!

Students Active For Ending Rape (SAFER) began in 2000 as a group of students at Columbia University who led the campus in a grassroots campaign to reform the school’s sexual assault policy. More than ten years later, SAFER is a national nonprofit organization that empowers students across the country to change how their colleges prevent and respond to sexual assault. A volunteer-led organization, SAFER facilitates student organizing through a comprehensive training manual (PDF); in-person workshops and trainings; free follow-up mentoring; our SAFER/V-Day Campus Accountability Project Database; and a growing online resource library for student organizers.

Visit our website to read more about SAFER and its history.

What We Need & What You Get

With your help, we can raise $7,000. By helping us expand our capacity, your donation will help pay for:

  • mentors that provide FREE one-on-one guidance to student activists;
  • bringing trainers to the schools of student activists across the country;
  • educating college staff and students about the unique dynamics of sexual assault on college campuses;
  • allowing student groups of ANY budget to bring SAFER to campus.
I come from a family of beautiful women with hourglass figures (and before someone starts in about arrogance, I am not trying to be a shit, it is just our reality is one where we tend to fall into that range of physical symmetry that American culture prizes), who spent a lot of time fleeing or hiding or passing as men if they could in order to travel safely and those were skills and lessons that they passed on to their girl children. I struggle with the idea that my body belongs to me, and that’s after some legal protections (however weak and ill applied) for black women were codified. Imagine being an attractive WOC with not even that hint of protection.
Imagine a reality where rape isn’t even a concept that applies to you. A white man wants your body? Well shit, that’s what it’s there for so lay down girl so he can do his business and move on. A black man wants you? So? Be grateful someone wants you. After all, what other purpose can your body serve in this world when it looks like that? You’re too sexy to be sexless, & you’re not allowed any power including the power to say no.

A great article over at the SAFER Campus blog. An excerpt:

The bad news is, there isn’t one test to tell when someone is too intoxicated to consent to sex. (Well, maybe there is—one could make an argument about blood alcohol content perhaps, but college students don’t carry breathalyzers last time I checked so let’s move along). And so when we talk about alcohol and consent, it’s a conversation about open communication with your partner if they’ve been drinking—checking in with them, making sure they are enthusiastically, affirmatively consenting to whatever you’re doing together. Clearly people are sometimes going to get drunk and have sex. And the presence of alcohol in someone’s bloodstream does not automatically make it rape. But there’s a spectrum of intoxication. If someone is physically impaired by their drinking (or drug use), you can tell. They are getting sick, their body is limp, they’re not able to communicate clearly with you. It’s a common sense situation. If it’s less obvious, you know they have been drinking but you’re not sure how much and they seem OK, that’s where communication is key, and honestly—if it’s unclear how drunk your partner is and you feel conflicted, then maybe just play it safe and don’t do it. Instincts are there for a reason. You’ll have another chance to have sex, but sexual assault is permanent.