I’m not in a rush to lose weight. It isn’t my number one goal. Why? Because I’m not utterly disgusted by the person I see looking at me in the mirror. Which is an amazing feat in this society and culture. Don’t get me wrong I’m not completely in love with it either, but who is? We’re always told we need to change, alter and improve our appearance by people who are oddly invested in other other people’s physical appearance.
But with that being said I do plan on eventually getting a gym membership, working out and losing weight when I move to Boston later in the summer. But what annoys me to no end is when other people feel the need to tell me that I need to start losing weight and I need to start RIGHT NOW.
It’s like, what the hell? The absolute worst thing anyone can do is to get conditioned to want their body to look a certain way for other people and not themselves.
This is why being healthy is so difficult. We don’t measure health in actual healthy practices. We measure it in “how fast can you lose weight and have a certain figure.” we don’t teach people to value healthy and responsible exercise routines and habits - but instead to take dangerous diet supplements, develop adversarial relationships with all food, and go to the gym like its their job.
Losing weight isn’t a job or an obligation. It’s a prerogative that an individual should set out for themselves. But dr.oz and everyone out there puts people out on these boom-bust weight loss routines where people burn out in the gym and treat food like the enemy. Then they abandon the “routine” in a few weeks and feel like a failure and hate themselves. Then the process stops again.
If someone wants to develop a different eating regimen or exercise on a regular basis, that’s fine. But we don’t live in a culture that can just trust that people know how to do that on their own. We don’t trust others with their own body and have to throw pressure into the mix.
Basically if you’re trying to lose weight and people feel the need to tell you that you’re not doing it fast enough - tell them to mind their own goddamn business. If someone can’t trust you to know what is healthy and appropriate for your own body then they must not trust you to wipe your own ass either. You don’t tell other people how to do that, so don’t give unsolicited weight loss advice or set limits on a body that ISN’T YOURS.
That just doesn’t make sense to me. Expecting someone to speed up a process that’s happening with their body that is neither natural or healthy.
/rant over - woosah
I ran across this today and thought it was phenomenal and empowering =)
From Addicted To Etsy:
“I spent much too many years in my teens and early 20’s obsessing over my complexion, my weight, my nose, my hair and everything in between. It didn’t matter how many times my mom told me I was beautiful, it really never registered. I wish it didn’t take all this time for me to accept that this is who I am.
Something amazing happens when you really start to love and embrace yourself. The moment I stopped trying to experiment with lightening creams because an aunt told me I needed to, or hiding from sun for fear of getting darker, or getting a perm every other week, for fear of the tiniest appearance of kinky hair, that became the moment, I started to love my reflection. And I tell you, if you love what you see, other people start to see that as well. I kid you not, I only started wearing shorts and skirts about 2-3 years ago. I can laugh at it now- how sad. Four years of college and I didn’t wear short skirts because of what someone may have said about their shape, size or the mosquito bites or the I’m too clumsy so I bang and scratch my legs everywhere scars.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m still a woman with good and bad days and I know there’ll be moments where I sit there feeling bad that I’m not some stranger or some person out there’s ill conceived idea of perfection; but now I’m in a place where I can quickly realize that it’s all really silly though. I realize I can honestly work to improve myself, eat healthy, take care of my skin without feeling the need to CHANGE myself. It is one thing to work on improving who you are and another thing altogether to strive only to completely change what makes you YOU.
Not to get too philosophical, but we are guaranteed only one thing, and thats a limited time on this planet- whether you go early like some unfortunate ones or you live past 100. Our time here will end. Which is why in my limited time, I will wear shorts (scars be damned), I will get darker in the sun (still gotta get that SPF tho’), I will let the world see every nap, curl or kink in my hair, cos thats who I am, and I don’t have the time, energy or emotional strength to pretend that I am someone else.
There’s more at the link!
I know how to cross stitch… I should make one of these…
I wrote this a while back, when i first started this blog. I randomly ran across it and figured its worth re-posting for y’all.
This morning my father basically told me I need to lose weight. Rather, he let me know that by time he’s back in America (he travels a lot) i should have dropped my excess weight. I guess he thinks thinness = health.
Now, i’m not really hurt or anything. Just irritated. Because why do people think it’s appropriate to tell people things like this. It really angers me how it’s perfectly acceptable, and “the right thing” to put that kind of pressure on someone. Being thin doesn’t equate being healthy. But this focus on weight around girls who are perfectly fine causes more emotional and mental issues - and if that’s the case who gives a shit if someone has an elevated blood pressure so long as someone is happy. Why is it society’s concern that someone is “thin” if we must do so my making them hate themselves?
I talk about body issues a lot, as well as the pressure to be thin, and weight issues, but today it really hit me how much “regular people” internalize & reproduce the bullshit we see on TV. I watch things like BridalPlasty, or read Tabloids, and i think “it’s crazy how hollywood places such an unrealistic standard on people just because they’re in the spotlight - because regular people could give a shit if someone is a little curvy.” Apparently, for some reason there are plenty of “regular people” who find no problem with scrutinizing weight so closely. It just astounds me, really, how we are truly blind to the affect words have on people.
I’m going to say it again: IT ASTOUNDS ME HOW WE ARE SO BLIND TO THE AFFECT WORDS HAVE ON PEOPLE.
The funny thing is the more I become fine with my body the more others are trying to convince me i need to change. It’s like i woke up in backwards land - but i guess that’s what America is. I also find it funny that for some reason when someone looks at my body they assume that i 1) must over eat / eat junkfood / never touch vegetables. 2) i never work out 3) i have no idea what it means to be healthy. We draw stupid conclusions about someone’s character based off how they look. Lastly, i find it funny that all the people who give me unsolicited advice on MY body assume that i’m not already inundated with UNSOLICITED ADVICE ABOUT MY BODY. I can’t turn the TV on or read a magazine without being reminded what society’s standards are, yet for some reason numerous people think to come up to me and say “hey, did you know you were overweight?” and think it’s their job to reeducate me on what a diet is. As if i can’t get on google and figure it out for myself because if i make it my own choice to take steps to lose weight and go on a diet, that’s all i need to do. It makes no sense for people to impose dieting advice on people who are perfectly able of going out and discovering health tips on their own. The irony makes me laugh.
I probably used the word irony wrong, oh well.
Any-who, thanks for listening. I figured my irritating situation this morning could be used as an example for how inappropriate society standards can be, and the real way pressure affects girls every single day.
—
The Shameful Baker, who should change their name to The Shameless Baker.
And this is why I openly boycott any food that is sold with the words ‘sin’, ‘guilt-free’, ‘temptation’, et al. Eating chocolate is not like robbing banks or fondling children. Stop treating it like such. (via ghostofanidea)
I HATE this idea that we should feel bad or guilty or like we’re cheating if we eat foods that taste good.
If you’re not into cupcakes and Doritos, hey, good on ya, but stay off my jock in the meantime. (via nanner)
It seems like the more basic, yet enjoyable, something is—having sex or eating a double-stuffed Oreo, let’s say—the more we’re made to feel we need to control it and be ashamed of it. I would like to suggest that anyone who feels that the enjoyment of anything good needs to come with a side-dish of guilt and contrition just keep it to themselves. I’m on a shame-free diet, thanks. (via wtfox-)
shame free diets for everyone!
—
— Kate Harding (via Bon-Bon)
I see a lot of people whose mindset is “The more I want to fuck you, the more respect I give you.” So to them, asking to be respected IS asking them to find you attractive. Whether fat is attractive or not is not the issue. Folks need to use their brains instead of their genitals when determining the worth of someone.
(via rosalarian)
Yes! also the idea that attraction = sexual attraction only is very exclusive and erasing, that it’s only “half-way” if you’re attracted romantically to someone. It’s absurd. For some it’s either, none, both, some combination, sometimes it changes. Rigid models of attraction are unhelpful and oppressive.
(via torayot)
while we’re on the subject of beauty
Why do we so often think small dick jokes are funny? They aren’t. Dicks come in all different sizes. Think I am making a big deal out of nothing? Imagine if this shirt said “Life’s phat [as in good] but you are just fat”. [that is very similar to what the shirt says already] Does anyone else see how making fun of anyone’s body or specific body parts just isn’t cool or funny? Ever. Everyone’s body is different. I am fucking sick of small penis lines. They affect trans* people too. I am scared of when someone sees the growth I have gotten from T that they will laugh because I am small. That’s how widespread the “small dicks are worthless” notion is that it affects someone’s feelings of their genitals who doesn’t even identify as male. These jokes can make people with penises of all sizes feel uncomfortable and inadequate. And then there’s the question of what is small? Some people have ‘small’ dicks, others don’t. Some people like small dicks, others don’t. Body parts should never be used as a punchline.
So at my school, Hamilton College, for the first time, we’re celebrating National Eating Disorder Awareness week. *trigger for discussion of body image*
This morning i woke up, went to my suite’s shared bathroom, and the entire mirror was covered with inspirational messages. It’s apparently mirror-less monday. (while i appreciate it now, it scared the SHIT out of me at 7am)
There are trying to educate about eating disorders, they have tables set up, and even two life sized barbies for people to see.
But what stuck out to me was that they’re selling “I <3 By Body” t-shirts for 7 bucks. I definitely want to buy one, spread awareness and support the week -I suddenly realized how uncomfortable the idea of wearing the shirt makes me, when i can’t honestly say that i do, in fact, LOVE my body. And this upsets me. I want to buy the shirt and wear it everywhere i go and spread the message, but whenever I wear it it’ll just trigger all of my negative feelings toward how i look.
and i know, for a fact probably, that i wouldn’t feel this way if every-time i went home for break my parents didn’t repeatedly remind me about losing weight. But even that loses it’s sting after a while. What really affected me was when my dad ACTUALLY told me that the next time he sees me, he expects me to weight less “because he’s concerned” and what-not.
Just for fun, here’s a picture of me, (ignore the awkward look on my face - this is the only recent picture of myself i can find) haha: 
It just honestly sucks. It’s complete bullshit to act as though images in the media have absolutely no affect on how we perceive ourselves, and what standards we hold ourselves to. It’s strange because i’m known as this “outspoken feminist” how calls people out on being oppressive, critiques the media about perpetuating gender roles and is… insecure about her body? I don’t even like telling people i go to the gym because I don’t want to call attention to how insecure i actually am. But when you think about it, insecurity is so mind-blowingly common and rarely even talked about. I think just about every girl i know probably compares her body/looks/beauty to every other girl she knows. If every girl comes together and just talks about the daily pressures they feel to be thin/pretty/sexualized it would just make all of us feel so much better. One of the worst thing about insecurity is that you feel that you’re the only person in the world that’s insecure. Even seemingly confident people probably hates something about themselves that is absolutely ridiculous. We’re our own worst enemies.
Unless you’re a heartless jackass, i highly doubt people just go around and size people up saying “she can stand to lose those love handles, and that girl clearly had an extra dessert for dinner.” But we walk around, or at least i do, with the conception that everyone is hyper critical of our bodies, when in reality - no one cares. We spend more time internalizing the standard of beauty than rejecting and questioning it. We can’t tie our self worth to what we see in the mirror. It’s a very fucked up aspect of this culture…
I wish I could go through just one day without seeing images of what my body should look like, where i don’t hear some guy describe another girls body, or I just didn’t have to hear someone talk about how they need to go to the gym.
I wish the shirt instead said: “Body image issues are fucking stupid. We’re all beautiful. shit…” Yes. All the profanity is absolutely necessary. Because that’s honestly all we need to hear.
well, this was nice to get off my chest, time to get ready for work!
an image from the article i just posted about fitness magazines. You never really notice how pressured we are to have “perfect” bodies until you see all of that bullshit layed side-by-side.
This war generally takes on two fronts. The first is the media’s portrayal of only one type of woman in magazines, leading film roles, modeling circuits, and television. Often, these women are airbrushed, digitally altered, surgically altered, or suffering from eating disorders. Through this constant portrayal of only one kind of woman as the way women ought to look if they want to be beautiful, a powerful concept is burned into the minds of impressionable men and women. The second front is the constant encouragement for women to lose weight if they wish to be seen as beautiful, coupled with the media and society in general’s general disdain for any women who is even a few pounds “overweight.”
Read more at Suite101: Body Image and Beauty: The Media’s Negative Influence on Self Esteem http://www.suite101.com/content/body-image-and-beauty-a95673#ixzz19cMXCDWs
I like well worded things :)
We don’t owe anyone an explanation when it comes the choices we make about appearance. Yet here we are, dieting and sweating and cutting and spritzing and waxing and sucking and shooting and plucking, hoping to look less like ourselves and more like Halle Berry or Angelina Jolie or Anna Kournikova, thinking our problems will be solved. I’ll never understand why some men fear fat and strength and pixie cuts; it has nothing to do with them. Wait – maybe that’s exactly the problem.
I appreciate beauty. I love feeling beautiful. And there are many ways for me to do that. Trust me, Sephora has no better customer. I do my hair, put on makeup, wear sexy clothes, show off my rack and my booty. Whether I’m a size 8 or a size 18 doesn’t matter. It’s not beauty that’s the problem; it’s our limited definition of beauty that’s a problem.
[On Facebook-
Will: How come people get to tell skinny people to eat more, but you can’t tell a fat person to eat less?
Kaye: Because neither is an intelligent way to behave. Because both are body policing. because you have no idea why a skinny person is skinny or why a fat person is fat, and you have no right to make judgments on them based on what they’re eating or not eating. Because not all thin people are healthy and not all fat people are unhealthy. Because bodies come in hundreds of different shapes and sizes and rates aof metabolism, and al of those are a-okay. because telling skinny people to eat more and fat people to eat less is a way of feedign into a media fallacy about what is an ideal body shape - which cannot actually be attained without extensive digital retouching. Because “fat” and “skinny” are just words, and the social stigma attached to both of them has been manufactured by the aforementioned media. because you have no right.
Questions?]
A thousand times YES.
pft i tell fat ppl to eat less all the time…
Here are a bunch of reasons why you shouldn’t. Apparently you missed all of those I said up there, but let me reiterate:
- You have no right to police another’s body. None whatsoever. Neither your body type, nor your race, overall health, gender, or sex give you the right to cast judgment on another’s body.
- Again, as I said above, health is unrelated to weight. Thin people are not automatically healthy. Fat people are not automatically unhealthy.
- Beyond that, “eating less” is not a solution to losing weight. Even if the person you were speaking to welcomed and encouraged your response, that would not be the right thing to say. Losing weight is far more complicated than just “eating less.” What if the individual eats less than the daily recommended calorie intake per day already?
- Telling fat people to eat less is actively exercising thin privilege, an unfair power structure that has no basis in the reality of who is and is not healthy.
- Moreover, it’s just plain rude, inconsiderate, and callous. Surely someone along the line taught you better than that.
I suggest you educate yourself. This blog is a good place to start.
I love this, all of this. People are so damn ridiculous.
—
On Beth Ditto, “Promoting” Obesity & Fat Shame (via gauntlet) (via thedame) (via flabulous) (via somerset) (via loveyourchaos) (via filthyfuckingwhore, notemily) (via zombiegraveyardparty) (via thechocolatebrigade) (via schweizenhowsen) (via peecharrific) (via stfufatphobes) (via fivecentsplease) (via dirigible-plum) (via dr-grumbles) (via afitofvanity) (via the-madame-hatter) (via stfusexists)
THIS
This morning my father basically told me I need to lose weight. Rather, he let me know that by time he’s back in America (he travels a lot) i should have dropped my excess weight. I guess he thinks thinness = health.
Now, i’m not really hurt or anything. Just irritated. Because why do people think it’s appropriate to tell people things like this. It really angers me how it’s perfectly acceptable, and “the right thing” to put that kind of pressure on someone. Being thin doesn’t equate being healthy. But this focus on weight around girls who are perfectly fine causes more emotional and mental issues - and if that’s the case who gives a shit if someone has an elevated blood pressure so long as someone is happy. Why is it society’s concern that someone is “thin” if we must do so my making them hate themselves?
I talk about body issues a lot, as well as the pressure to be thin, and weight issues, but today it really hit me how much “regular people” internalize & reproduce the bullshit we see on TV. I watch things like BridalPlasty, or read Tabloids, and i think “it’s crazy how hollywood places such an unrealistic standard on people just because they’re in the spotlight - because regular people could give a shit if someone is a little curvy.” Apparently, for some reason there are plenty of “regular people” who find no problem with scrutinizing weight so closely. It just astounds me, really, how we are truly blind to the affect words have on people.
I’m going to say it again: IT ASTOUNDS ME HOW WE ARE SO BLIND TO THE AFFECT WORDS HAVE ON PEOPLE.
The funny thing is the more I become fine with my body the more others are trying to convince me i need to change. It’s like i woke up in backwards land - but i guess that’s what America is. I also find it funny that for some reason when someone looks at my body they assume that i 1) must over eat / eat junkfood / never touch vegetables. 2) i never work out 3) i have no idea what it means to be healthy. We draw stupid conclusions about someone’s character based off how they look. Lastly, i find it funny that all the people who give me unsolicited advice on MY body assume that i’m not already inundated with UNSOLICITED ADVICE ABOUT MY BODY. I can’t turn the TV on or read a magazine without being reminded what society’s standards are, yet for some reason numerous people think to come up to me and say “hey, did you know you were overweight?” and think it’s their job to reeducate me on what a diet is. As if i can’t get on google and figure it out for myself because if i make it my own choice to take steps to lose weight and go on a diet, that’s all i need to do. It makes no sense for people to impose dieting advice on people who are perfectly able of going out and discovering health tips on their own. The irony makes me laugh.
I probably used the word irony wrong, oh well.
Any-who, thanks for listening. I figured my irritating situation this morning could be used as an example for how inappropriate society standards can be, and the real way pressure affects girls every single day.
![slaterwashere:
Why do we so often think small dick jokes are funny? They aren’t. Dicks come in all different sizes. Think I am making a big deal out of nothing? Imagine if this shirt said “Life’s phat [as in good] but you are just fat”. [that is very similar to what the shirt says already] Does anyone else see how making fun of anyone’s body or specific body parts just isn’t cool or funny? Ever. Everyone’s body is different. I am fucking sick of small penis lines. They affect trans* people too. I am scared of when someone sees the growth I have gotten from T that they will laugh because I am small. That’s how widespread the “small dicks are worthless” notion is that it affects someone’s feelings of their genitals who doesn’t even identify as male. These jokes can make people with penises of all sizes feel uncomfortable and inadequate. And then there’s the question of what is small? Some people have ‘small’ dicks, others don’t. Some people like small dicks, others don’t. Body parts should never be used as a punchline.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llf1k960m11qgu1xjo1_500.jpg)
![fuckyeahfeminists:
[On Facebook-
Will: How come people get to tell skinny people to eat more, but you can’t tell a fat person to eat less?
Kaye: Because neither is an intelligent way to behave. Because both are body policing. because you have no idea why a skinny person is skinny or why a fat person is fat, and you have no right to make judgments on them based on what they’re eating or not eating. Because not all thin people are healthy and not all fat people are unhealthy. Because bodies come in hundreds of different shapes and sizes and rates aof metabolism, and al of those are a-okay. because telling skinny people to eat more and fat people to eat less is a way of feedign into a media fallacy about what is an ideal body shape - which cannot actually be attained without extensive digital retouching. Because “fat” and “skinny” are just words, and the social stigma attached to both of them has been manufactured by the aforementioned media. because you have no right.
Questions?]
dirigible-plum:
drkwingtales:
thefeministhub:
A thousand times YES.
pft i tell fat ppl to eat less all the time…
Here are a bunch of reasons why you shouldn’t. Apparently you missed all of those I said up there, but let me reiterate:
You have no right to police another’s body. None whatsoever. Neither your body type, nor your race, overall health, gender, or sex give you the right to cast judgment on another’s body.
Again, as I said above, health is unrelated to weight. Thin people are not automatically healthy. Fat people are not automatically unhealthy.
Beyond that, “eating less” is not a solution to losing weight. Even if the person you were speaking to welcomed and encouraged your response, that would not be the right thing to say. Losing weight is far more complicated than just “eating less.” What if the individual eats less than the daily recommended calorie intake per day already?
Telling fat people to eat less is actively exercising thin privilege, an unfair power structure that has no basis in the reality of who is and is not healthy.
Moreover, it’s just plain rude, inconsiderate, and callous. Surely someone along the line taught you better than that.
I suggest you educate yourself. This blog is a good place to start.
I love this, all of this. People are so damn ridiculous.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_leo9esyDko1qdlfjlo1_500.png)
